Disaster Movie (2008)

Let’s travel back to the year 2008 and, what a year it was. Slumdog Millionaire, Iron Man, The Wrestler, Milk, WALL-E, and The Dark Knight. That was quite a year when it came to great movies. Oh yeah, there was also Disaster Movie. It feels so wrong to even mention this one. I don’t know what I just sat through and witnessed but the experience was not pleasant in the slightest. How bad is it? Well, let me put it to you this way, I would rather get sawdust in my eyes and rinse them out with vinegar than suffer through another 87 minutes of whatever the hell I watched. Yeah, it’s that bad! From what I’ve gathered from this movie, a group of twenty-something-year-olds have to deal with a chain of natural disasters and events. That’s just about the only thing that makes sense to me, but let’s try to get through this as best as we can.

     Like I said, the year was 2008 and it was a parody movie. So, as you can well imagine, there are references centering around this time. Okay, I’m open to references in a comedy, but here’s the problem. You have to actually know how to use them and this movie clearly didn’t. They weren’t there for any other reason than to just be references. Not to mention, they’re all dated, irritating, and a lot of them have nothing to do with disasters. Now, let’s talk about the story. Absolutely atrocious! I feel even more stupid for trying to follow it. It’s all over the place and has no clue in which direction it’s going. It’s more chaotic than I am when I go nuts over my morning routine. It’s just the characters trying to survive disasters and they keep running into a bunch of references from other movies that have no reason to be there, other than to just say, “Hi, I’m from this movie, so that automatically makes me funny.” Even if I was on drugs, it still probably wouldn’t have made sense to me. The acting? One of the worst! Everyone was given a horrendous direction to go and their impressions of other characters from much better movies were insufferable. I didn’t even know most of the actors, except for Matt Lanter from Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Carmen Electra, who’s in pretty much every parody movie known to mankind, and Kim Kardashian, who never should have even considered acting. I don’t even remember any of the character’s names, and when you watch as many movies as I do, that says a lot. The jokes? Painful! I didn’t laugh once and they were so excruciating, I was just hoping I’d go deaf from the ear-splitting stupidity of them. There were so many other things from this movie that pissed me off, such as the editing, continuity errors, and of course, the writing and directing. I don’t know a lot about Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, but from their other works that I’ve seen online, I’m glad I don’t. Now, I can avoid the rest of their films and that’s one out of a couple positives I can take away from watching this movie.

     Now comes the one question that I feel I must answer. Where does this movie stand for me? Well, how do I say this nicely? Screw this movie! I have never seen anything more lazy, stupid, or painful in my entire life! I’m sure a lot of people would beg to differ but that’s just me. My anxiety levels were through the roof with this one and that’s a feeling that I don’t want to have for quite a while. I’d have to give this movie a 1 out of 10, but if I had it my way, I would lower it down to the lowest negative possible. My only reason for watching this was because after hearing so many awful things about it, I wanted to see it to believe it. And now that I’ve seen it, I totally believe it. Like I said before, there were one out of a couple positives I can take away from this. The other one is that I get to criticize this huge dumpster fire and that is about ten times more pleasurable than the actual movie. Alright, maybe another positive would be (SPOILER ALERT) watching Kim Kardashian get taken out by an asteroid. That did actually put a smile on my face. I know this review might seem redundant, but then again, the movie itself is. So, it kind of works perfectly. Now, if you want to see for yourself how bad this movie is, go ahead. Otherwise, avoid this one at all costs!

    Now comes the one question that I feel I must answer. Where does this movie stand for me? Well, how do I say this nicely? Screw this movie! I have never seen anything more lazy, stupid, or painful in my entire life! I’m sure a lot of people would beg to differ but that’s just me. My anxiety levels were through the roof with this one and that’s a feeling that I don’t want to have for quite a while. I’d have to give this movie a 1 out of 10, but if I had it my way, I would lower it down to the lowest negative possible. My only reason for watching this was because after hearing so many awful things about it, I wanted to see it to believe it. And now that I’ve seen it, I totally believe it. Like I said before, there were one out of a couple positives I can take away from this. The other one is that I get to criticize this huge dumpster fire and that is about ten times more pleasurable than the actual movie. Alright, maybe another positive would be (SPOILER ALERT) watching Kim Kardashian get taken out by an asteroid. That did actually put a smile on my face. I know this review might seem redundant, but then again, the movie itself is.